Its exciting to read about the growing understanding of stem cells and their implications for regenerative medicine. As we learn how stem cells function, we may be able to dramatically reduce the prevalence of diseases that are the result of tissue dysfunction. The possibilities of carrying this research out to the fullest are endless. Perhaps we could even attack the root of the problem, finding cures for gene mutations that lead to tissue degeneration in the first place. On the other hand, maybe playing with gene mutations will have unforeseen consequences on human evolution. A single team of scientists meddling with a process that usually takes millions of years could be problematic.
Furthermore, while researchers have seen evidence that stem cells are safe for long-term use, such studies have only yet followed small numbers of patients for a handful of years. We do not yet know how manipulation of stem cells will affect a human over the course of their entire life or through generations. How will a promising procedure, such as the one discussed in the article "Stem cells help nearly blind to see" in which a mere 18 patients were treated, affect a wider variety of patients, for example an individual with mutations not represented in the original 18 patients? Regenerative medicine is still too new to identify genetic contraindications. Maybe this concern is merely another example of me responding new technologies with skepticism and worry (however much I'm also excited about the possibilities), or maybe its a response born out of the results of bio-medical interventions such as the impact of overuse of antibiotics. As pointed out in "Prokaryotes, Eukaryotes, & Viruses Tutorial," bacteria get the last laugh when humans inadvertently encourage the evolution of drug resistant bacteria.
Worry-wartery aside, another interesting medical development is the use of acupuncture to administer or augment western medicine. Such a crossover would likely be a benefit to both modalities. Acupuncture is often seen as a "miracle cure" in the West, a result of our collective ignorance of holistic and/or d.i.y. healthcare practices. Traditional Chinese Medicine treats the body as a network, working on a larger scale than western medicine, which targets specific organs/tissues or systems. I am curious to see how the use of the two systems impact one another.
Sunday, May 31, 2015
Physics Week Four: Helpful website
Hi classmates, I found a really helpful website called Particle Adventure. Definitions, designations, bad puns. Hope it helps!
http://particleadventure.org/index.html
http://particleadventure.org/index.html
Thursday, May 28, 2015
Physics Week Three: Synchronicity
Tuesday's class on synchronicity provided some beautiful food for thought. In our small group discussion, we talked about synchronicity as a result of a greater connectivity within ourselves and the universe. What my classmates described sounded to me as if quantum exists at the center of a series of rings much like the rings of a tree. These particles are our world at the microscopic level, which extend out through our cells, through our bodies, our communities, the various systems we exist within, onto the macroscopic universe. All are part of one (divine?) collective unconsciousness, however aware of that connection we may be.
Many of us go through life without really understanding that connection. The fierce individualism of this culture prioritizes our own urges and uniqueness and discourages a sense of communal unity. One classmate pointed out that this distinction gives us the sense of our inner world as relating to our own free will and the outer world relating to external forces outside of our freewill. As we spoke of the intelligence and intention of the universe, as manifested in synchronicity and connections, I couldn't help but feel that free will and the duality between inner and outer world might be a false construct or maybe a distraction form a larger purpose.
This thought would likely anger anyone who resists the ideas of collective unconsciousness or the universal will. Nobody wants to feel like a puppet. Yet, I felt a strange sense of relief as another classmate reflected on how it feels to connect or disconnect. She said that when we feel the most in tune with our purpose, often expressed as feeling like our most authentic selves, these are the moments when we experience our connection to something larger, or to the purpose we have within this greater framework. On the other hand, when we suffer from depression, anxiety, isolation or other forms of dis-ease, we are locked within our inner world, unable to experience that wholeness. Being caged away from wholeness is as horrible an experience as those moments of profound connection are truly joyously beautiful.
We may not be able to prove the existence of this connection or its expressions through synchronicity, but can it still serve us? If we can work towards that sense of wholeness, perhaps through meditation or following the breadcrumbs synchronistic events leave for us, then I believe that is evidence enough to believe in synchronicity.
Many of us go through life without really understanding that connection. The fierce individualism of this culture prioritizes our own urges and uniqueness and discourages a sense of communal unity. One classmate pointed out that this distinction gives us the sense of our inner world as relating to our own free will and the outer world relating to external forces outside of our freewill. As we spoke of the intelligence and intention of the universe, as manifested in synchronicity and connections, I couldn't help but feel that free will and the duality between inner and outer world might be a false construct or maybe a distraction form a larger purpose.
This thought would likely anger anyone who resists the ideas of collective unconsciousness or the universal will. Nobody wants to feel like a puppet. Yet, I felt a strange sense of relief as another classmate reflected on how it feels to connect or disconnect. She said that when we feel the most in tune with our purpose, often expressed as feeling like our most authentic selves, these are the moments when we experience our connection to something larger, or to the purpose we have within this greater framework. On the other hand, when we suffer from depression, anxiety, isolation or other forms of dis-ease, we are locked within our inner world, unable to experience that wholeness. Being caged away from wholeness is as horrible an experience as those moments of profound connection are truly joyously beautiful.
We may not be able to prove the existence of this connection or its expressions through synchronicity, but can it still serve us? If we can work towards that sense of wholeness, perhaps through meditation or following the breadcrumbs synchronistic events leave for us, then I believe that is evidence enough to believe in synchronicity.
Tuesday, May 26, 2015
Biology Week Two: Evo-Devo
In class we've looked at the unique skills or traits of animals such as dolphins and crows alongside discussion of our own evolutionary development, what we can piece together through archeological evidence anyway. We talked about this notion humans have of being the supreme intelligence on this planet and therefore the top of the food chain. However, Western researchers are increasingly acknowledging that the unique talents of many species have been missed, ignored, or rationalized away thanks to the biases of researchers who measured animal behaviors and rituals to our own. If you believe that intelligence is proven through verbal communication and complex manipulation of tools, or that animals are purely fueled by mindless instinct, there are many forms of communication and communal bonding to miss. Not to mention the blow to humanity's ego to find that perhaps more intelligent or perhaps more cultured creatures exist.
The possibility of cetacean communication through projection of auditory images, and therefore their vastly more complex correspondence, is just one of their many potential advantages over humans. As we've discussed, the West has a troubling commitment to "rationalism" and "objectivity" that I believe is a pillar of injustice to ourselves, our plant and animal relations, and to the earth. Neurobiologist Lori Marino's research into the brains of killer whales revealed that their limbic system is so large it merges with the cortex, allowing for a mixture of emotional and cognitive thinking. While humans divorce emotions from "rationality," killer whales may very well naturally consolidate the two. What must this do their notions of community, responsibility, and survival?
Looking at the minimal amount of time humans have actually been present on this earth, it seems that our purpose here is a bit more humble than we've been led to believe. Rather than being plunked down in a god's image with the earth ours to reign, we are the result of millions of years of natural selection working its way out of the waters, down from the trees, into a fantastically vast and diverse phylogeny. We can follow scraps of the archeological trail through the many hominids that seem to have evolved into today's human. We can look at the long struggle from the first tools to agriculture to industry to the digital age. We can attempt to look away from the rapid decline of natural resources and the likely effects this will have on humanity's future. In our readings, it was suggested that the next great evolutionary leap may only be possible once humans have mastered space travel. Whether we settle in a foreign atmosphere or if future generations have to make do with polluted soil, air, and water, how might humanity adapt? Give the destruction wrought by Western arrogance, how should we adapt?
The possibility of cetacean communication through projection of auditory images, and therefore their vastly more complex correspondence, is just one of their many potential advantages over humans. As we've discussed, the West has a troubling commitment to "rationalism" and "objectivity" that I believe is a pillar of injustice to ourselves, our plant and animal relations, and to the earth. Neurobiologist Lori Marino's research into the brains of killer whales revealed that their limbic system is so large it merges with the cortex, allowing for a mixture of emotional and cognitive thinking. While humans divorce emotions from "rationality," killer whales may very well naturally consolidate the two. What must this do their notions of community, responsibility, and survival?
Looking at the minimal amount of time humans have actually been present on this earth, it seems that our purpose here is a bit more humble than we've been led to believe. Rather than being plunked down in a god's image with the earth ours to reign, we are the result of millions of years of natural selection working its way out of the waters, down from the trees, into a fantastically vast and diverse phylogeny. We can follow scraps of the archeological trail through the many hominids that seem to have evolved into today's human. We can look at the long struggle from the first tools to agriculture to industry to the digital age. We can attempt to look away from the rapid decline of natural resources and the likely effects this will have on humanity's future. In our readings, it was suggested that the next great evolutionary leap may only be possible once humans have mastered space travel. Whether we settle in a foreign atmosphere or if future generations have to make do with polluted soil, air, and water, how might humanity adapt? Give the destruction wrought by Western arrogance, how should we adapt?
Tuesday, May 19, 2015
Physics Week Two: Quantum Mechanics
I am sitting in the coffee shop listening to music and reviewing our reading packet, web links, and posts from last week's class. I can't quite figure out how I want to respond to last week's questions. Somebody unplugs my computer, causing the old piece of junk to shut down. Startled, I remind myself not to get mad, dude didn't mean to mess me up (even if he tells me "Its ok, I only need one outlet" as I mumble to myself about losing everything I had up on the screen). Waiting for my laptop to boot back up, I notice notes I made in my packet from last week I hadn't noticed minutes before when I reread the article. I read the notes, reread the passage, and take a moment to appreciate these instances when an accident puts me in the right place or right time or right frame of mind to receive...a nice precursor to the readings on synchronicity I'll be working on shortly.
The passage from "Quantum Mechanics and Uncertainty" refers to the Copenhagen Interpretation and the limitations and implications on the act of measurement. While we are supposed to believe that measurement is a simple and objective act, the Copenhagen Interpretation holds that "measurement is thus regarded as something intrinsically different from anything else in nature," an intervention that impacts and influences the subatomic particles it seeks to measure. It strikes me that measurement is an entirely man made act that exists only to satisfy human curiosity, as the author points out a limited, "left-hemispheric thought" process of rationalistic society. We westerners like definitive answers, demonstratable facts. Pre-quantum physics scientists, developing their theories within and in reaction to particular religiopolitical constraints, held a rabid commitment to this silly notion of "objectivity," a supposedly neutral concept that I believe is laden with bias and hegemonic blind spots. The Uncertainty Principle directly contradicts the idea that the observer is ever neutral.
I often have trouble reconciling my longing to be a more rational, scientifically informed person (in the Western sense, some hegemonic conditioning I haven't yet shed) with my interest in more metaphysical modalities. In one breath I might denounce all things "woo," and in the next breath begin a rant about how we are all connected in ways far beyond our current perceptions. During those moments when I feel insecure about my beliefs regarding such things as tarot cards or the wisdom of symbols from ancient belief systems or the knowledge we glean from the natural world, I find myself having intense arguments in my imagination with certain friends committed to objectivity and atheism. I want them to see beyond the skepticism to a deeper world of connections and influences that I feel more than I can articulate. Its interesting how this class is giving structure to ideas I didn't have words for.
In "Quantum Mechanics and Uncertainty," the writer goes on to encourage the act of standing in wonder, the subjective experience of which "is a message to the rational mind that the object of wonder is being perceived and understood in ways other than the rational." The author ends with a quote from Gary Zukav that implores the reader to freely feel awe without trying to understand it. "You will find that you do understand, but in a way you will not be able to put into words. You are perceiving intuitively through you right hemisphere." Intuiting and wonder, as scientific tools, I think are powerful however much, as Zukav notes, such skills have been dulled by centuries of repression. The universe is in fact a very weird place, a place that we cannot yet truly comprehend in its entirety, although the greater implications of the Uncertainty Principle and opening our minds to the myriad of ways quantum physics acts within the macroscopic world will likely help get us closer to understanding just how weird this place is.
The passage from "Quantum Mechanics and Uncertainty" refers to the Copenhagen Interpretation and the limitations and implications on the act of measurement. While we are supposed to believe that measurement is a simple and objective act, the Copenhagen Interpretation holds that "measurement is thus regarded as something intrinsically different from anything else in nature," an intervention that impacts and influences the subatomic particles it seeks to measure. It strikes me that measurement is an entirely man made act that exists only to satisfy human curiosity, as the author points out a limited, "left-hemispheric thought" process of rationalistic society. We westerners like definitive answers, demonstratable facts. Pre-quantum physics scientists, developing their theories within and in reaction to particular religiopolitical constraints, held a rabid commitment to this silly notion of "objectivity," a supposedly neutral concept that I believe is laden with bias and hegemonic blind spots. The Uncertainty Principle directly contradicts the idea that the observer is ever neutral.
I often have trouble reconciling my longing to be a more rational, scientifically informed person (in the Western sense, some hegemonic conditioning I haven't yet shed) with my interest in more metaphysical modalities. In one breath I might denounce all things "woo," and in the next breath begin a rant about how we are all connected in ways far beyond our current perceptions. During those moments when I feel insecure about my beliefs regarding such things as tarot cards or the wisdom of symbols from ancient belief systems or the knowledge we glean from the natural world, I find myself having intense arguments in my imagination with certain friends committed to objectivity and atheism. I want them to see beyond the skepticism to a deeper world of connections and influences that I feel more than I can articulate. Its interesting how this class is giving structure to ideas I didn't have words for.
In "Quantum Mechanics and Uncertainty," the writer goes on to encourage the act of standing in wonder, the subjective experience of which "is a message to the rational mind that the object of wonder is being perceived and understood in ways other than the rational." The author ends with a quote from Gary Zukav that implores the reader to freely feel awe without trying to understand it. "You will find that you do understand, but in a way you will not be able to put into words. You are perceiving intuitively through you right hemisphere." Intuiting and wonder, as scientific tools, I think are powerful however much, as Zukav notes, such skills have been dulled by centuries of repression. The universe is in fact a very weird place, a place that we cannot yet truly comprehend in its entirety, although the greater implications of the Uncertainty Principle and opening our minds to the myriad of ways quantum physics acts within the macroscopic world will likely help get us closer to understanding just how weird this place is.
Thursday, May 7, 2015
Biology Week One: Our Biological World
Well hello again. I am Ashley, I wrote a bit in my first post about why I came to TCM, but here I'll just say a little about myself. I am originally from Fresno and although I love my home and who it turned me into, I have absolutely loved the last three years living in Oakland. My undergrad consisted of History and Women Studies with a minor in Philosophy. My personal and educational experience led to working (paid or unpaid) as an outreach worker and at the Fresno Needle Exchange. Harm reduction is incredibly important to me and along with the idea of trauma-informed care will greatly influence the sort of acupuncture work I do in the future. My hobbies include going to punk shows, yoga, and hiking. I have a dog named Hollybear and she's about the coolest dog and if you get to meet her I promise you'll love her. We hike a lot and take good care of each other. I also like to read, make my own lip balm/lotions/tinctures, etc, and veg with my roommates and friends. I like to garden but never seem to get around to doing it. I am REALLY REALLY REALLY excited about being back in school!
I really appreciated the conversation in class yesterday. Coming at biology from an integrated framework is refreshing and exciting. Our readings really spoke to one another about our responsibility on this earth as the species most able to affect change. Western science discourses have worked so hard to minimize and dismiss the knowledge and experience of the natural world, and that naivete has created havoc. Not that its all scientists' fault, but as innovators and creators of new knowledge, their inventions are not created in a political vacuum and their cultural biases have a greater impact than some would like to admit. Invention for the sake of glorious discovery without an eye to the greater implications is both naive and dangerous. The atom bomb is an excellent example that many scientists and philosophers have already explored, and our conversation about GMOS and synbio yesterday spoke to the dangers as well. Yesterday morning I read an article about Hawaiians protesting the building of a telescope on a sacred mountain and how astronomers are absolutely baffled why anyone would object. They feel they are working toward the betterment of humankind and there are no detrimental effects of astrophysics, so what's the problem? The problem is the complete ignorance and erasure of the very real needs and rights of the indigenous people to whom that mountain is sacred. Science and scientists do not exist outside of history, war, cultural oppression, or colonization, however much they may want to believe they can hide away from all those horrors. Maybe synbio will be the next big technological revolution, or maybe it'll have subtle effects on earth's ecology that trigger a chain reaction of catastrophic proportions (on the geologic time scale). In the final article of our packet the question of nature's value is raised. I hope that those driving movements such as GMO and synbio will in time be influenced by the economic data (because let's face it, nature's intrinsic value isn't enough to sway most decision makers). If synbio's impact is anything less than 110% positive it could be truly devastating, a cost we are not ready to shoulder, let alone the cost to future generations.
I really appreciated the conversation in class yesterday. Coming at biology from an integrated framework is refreshing and exciting. Our readings really spoke to one another about our responsibility on this earth as the species most able to affect change. Western science discourses have worked so hard to minimize and dismiss the knowledge and experience of the natural world, and that naivete has created havoc. Not that its all scientists' fault, but as innovators and creators of new knowledge, their inventions are not created in a political vacuum and their cultural biases have a greater impact than some would like to admit. Invention for the sake of glorious discovery without an eye to the greater implications is both naive and dangerous. The atom bomb is an excellent example that many scientists and philosophers have already explored, and our conversation about GMOS and synbio yesterday spoke to the dangers as well. Yesterday morning I read an article about Hawaiians protesting the building of a telescope on a sacred mountain and how astronomers are absolutely baffled why anyone would object. They feel they are working toward the betterment of humankind and there are no detrimental effects of astrophysics, so what's the problem? The problem is the complete ignorance and erasure of the very real needs and rights of the indigenous people to whom that mountain is sacred. Science and scientists do not exist outside of history, war, cultural oppression, or colonization, however much they may want to believe they can hide away from all those horrors. Maybe synbio will be the next big technological revolution, or maybe it'll have subtle effects on earth's ecology that trigger a chain reaction of catastrophic proportions (on the geologic time scale). In the final article of our packet the question of nature's value is raised. I hope that those driving movements such as GMO and synbio will in time be influenced by the economic data (because let's face it, nature's intrinsic value isn't enough to sway most decision makers). If synbio's impact is anything less than 110% positive it could be truly devastating, a cost we are not ready to shoulder, let alone the cost to future generations.
Physics Week One: The Meaning of Time
Hi there. I am Ashley. This is my blog for my physics (and biology) class at the Academy of Chinese Culture and Health Sciences. I'll write some stuff, hope its enjoyable....or at least makes sense.
To start let me say a little about what I'm doing at ACCHS. I'll write a more proper bio for my first biology post.
I came to chinese medicine through a combination of my personal and professional interests. Personally, I love holistic medicine and do not trust western doctors. I recognize that they have their time and place, but I don't think pharmacological drugs are the appropriate place to start when dealing with general health concerns. I've lived with chronic pain since I was a teenager and yoga and tui na have dramatically helped me (as well as acupuncture back when I was first injured). My dad has been in and out of the hospital my whole life and I have seen him take pill after pill to band-aid each health concern, and only recently has he started to actually work toward a healthier lifestyle. My dad doesn't want a healthier lifestyle and western medicine doesn't want him to get healthier either. You don't make any money off of someone who gives up beer and bacon burritos in favor of ginger and garlic and greens. Personally, I'd rather eat my medicine, stretch a lot, feel great, and save the drugs for when they are truly appropriate.
Professionally, I have worked in harm reduction in one capacity or another for the last 7 years. Primarily this has been at needle exchanges and as an outreach worker. Recently I was working for a women's health organization serving HIV+ women and providing HIV tests to women. I loved the work but some of the interventions we used were a far cry from why I thought I got hired. The testing was great and our clients were amazing, resilient, dynamic women, but when you work with women who have every reason to mistrust a white service care provider, offering 'strength-based case management' feels real patronizing. "Well you've been through tough experiences before and you got through it, tell me what you did to overcome xyz." Barf. There was something missing. Not just programmatically, but I won't get into office politics. Anyway, trying to figure out where I wanted to go from there involved a good 6 months-a year of trying to figure out if working in another non-profit would frustrate me just as much (probably) or what discipline I would want to pursue if I went back to school (all of them and none of them).
I'm not sure how it came to me, but suddenly I realized that TCM could address my love for natural healing, my drive to help people, and my frustration with the top-down service provision of the non-profit industrial complex all in one glorious program. I want to help people, but I want to help people who come to me willingly and with dedication rather than trying to convince women who've been taking HIV meds almost as long as I've been alive why they should keep taking them in exchange for a $10 gift card. I want to help people with my own two hands, something concrete and real. I could say so much more about this, but on to other questions.
Honestly, when the question of my thoughts on Physics was first posed I was a little nervous. Its the first day of class, I don't know what physics is, why is he asking this and making me answer it in front of the whole class?!?!?! But as we got to talking I realized that Physics is the stuff the universe is made of (literally and figuratively). Questions of the concept of time, the universe, energy in western vs. eastern terms are all very fascinating to me, although I've never had the opportunity to formally study them. But what young person doesn't look into the sky and wonder whats going on up there, who is going on up there, and how can humankind better itself to deserve the farthest reaches of the galaxy and beyond? Teach me, dear classmates and professor, the inner workings of the universe and I'll do my best to contribute my thoughts! Forgive me if I find myself just wanting to reference Star Trek though ;)
Regarding time, I definitely think clocks are just reference points to help us stay connected to a common structure. Each one of us lives in a reality of our own, with our own perspectives and perceptions that may or may not align to the next person's. As such, time is either a ridiculous joke, or a fluid measure of when we need to be somewhere and what we need to do at certain expected times. I experience "time" speeding up and slowing down all the time, based on how in or out of the moment I may be. As many of us said in class, I often experience enjoyable moments as moving too fast, the day is suddenly over and I don't know how its gotten so late or why I have to go to bed and say goodbye to such a delicious day. On the other hand, those times when I'm unmotivated or waiting for friends to get off work to come hang out seem to tick by so slowly that I begin to think the joyous moments will never come again. On the other hand, there are those times completely outside of time. Traveling usually seems like a vacation from real time. Life exists back in Oakland where clocks exist and this adventure is hiding in a cove off of the river of time. When I am at my best I live in moments where time moves fast and yet I am not aware of it. I love not being aware of time.
When I was younger I was compelled to live by the clock. My school conditioning taught me that you should be somewhere a little early if not exactly on time. Unfortunately most of my friends did not live according to traditional time and I found myself waiting around for hours while a friend got distracted by her guitar on the way to pick me up. I don't believe there is anything natural about monochronic time. As I mentioned, it is a reference point to common structure, but a common structure is a symptom of modern, capitalist society and not a reality for cultures that value a responsibility to live over living to serve responsibilities. Eddie's comment in class about having time for life and joy and sex and yes also work in Brazil reminded me of my best friend's story about traveling in Brazil and how normal it was for people to get caught up in a spontaneous dance party in the streets on the way to where they needed to be. If you got somewhere late it wasn't the end of the world. My American brain couldn't comprehend how you could show up late to work because you were busy dancing, but it could certainly yern for it.
I know plenty of people in Oakland whose lives somehow fit into that polychronic view of time and I envy them. I sometimes think people who somehow afford to work a couple odd jobs and spend most of their time hanging out and playing music live in some sort of alternate reality. They've somehow accessed something closer to the reality the universe meant for us. I often joke that we live in a bizarro world. How can we live in a place with so much violence, homelessness, depression and other states of mental dis-ease, where we are expected to work, work, work, if we want to eat or have shelter, and yet America has the resources to feed and house us all. Its soul-crushing in its malevolence. As some of the traditional American values of sexism, white supremacy, heterosexism, etc are slowly chipped away at by social justice movements and the power of social media, I feel a glimmer of hope, but usually its just a glimmer. Maybe the sicknesses of our culture are an example of entropy. Maybe humankind will work towards the sort of egalitarian utopia, or maybe disorder and drudgery is the big cosmic joke on us. This post wasnt' supposed to get so dark, but well, there it is.
To start let me say a little about what I'm doing at ACCHS. I'll write a more proper bio for my first biology post.
I came to chinese medicine through a combination of my personal and professional interests. Personally, I love holistic medicine and do not trust western doctors. I recognize that they have their time and place, but I don't think pharmacological drugs are the appropriate place to start when dealing with general health concerns. I've lived with chronic pain since I was a teenager and yoga and tui na have dramatically helped me (as well as acupuncture back when I was first injured). My dad has been in and out of the hospital my whole life and I have seen him take pill after pill to band-aid each health concern, and only recently has he started to actually work toward a healthier lifestyle. My dad doesn't want a healthier lifestyle and western medicine doesn't want him to get healthier either. You don't make any money off of someone who gives up beer and bacon burritos in favor of ginger and garlic and greens. Personally, I'd rather eat my medicine, stretch a lot, feel great, and save the drugs for when they are truly appropriate.
Professionally, I have worked in harm reduction in one capacity or another for the last 7 years. Primarily this has been at needle exchanges and as an outreach worker. Recently I was working for a women's health organization serving HIV+ women and providing HIV tests to women. I loved the work but some of the interventions we used were a far cry from why I thought I got hired. The testing was great and our clients were amazing, resilient, dynamic women, but when you work with women who have every reason to mistrust a white service care provider, offering 'strength-based case management' feels real patronizing. "Well you've been through tough experiences before and you got through it, tell me what you did to overcome xyz." Barf. There was something missing. Not just programmatically, but I won't get into office politics. Anyway, trying to figure out where I wanted to go from there involved a good 6 months-a year of trying to figure out if working in another non-profit would frustrate me just as much (probably) or what discipline I would want to pursue if I went back to school (all of them and none of them).
I'm not sure how it came to me, but suddenly I realized that TCM could address my love for natural healing, my drive to help people, and my frustration with the top-down service provision of the non-profit industrial complex all in one glorious program. I want to help people, but I want to help people who come to me willingly and with dedication rather than trying to convince women who've been taking HIV meds almost as long as I've been alive why they should keep taking them in exchange for a $10 gift card. I want to help people with my own two hands, something concrete and real. I could say so much more about this, but on to other questions.
Honestly, when the question of my thoughts on Physics was first posed I was a little nervous. Its the first day of class, I don't know what physics is, why is he asking this and making me answer it in front of the whole class?!?!?! But as we got to talking I realized that Physics is the stuff the universe is made of (literally and figuratively). Questions of the concept of time, the universe, energy in western vs. eastern terms are all very fascinating to me, although I've never had the opportunity to formally study them. But what young person doesn't look into the sky and wonder whats going on up there, who is going on up there, and how can humankind better itself to deserve the farthest reaches of the galaxy and beyond? Teach me, dear classmates and professor, the inner workings of the universe and I'll do my best to contribute my thoughts! Forgive me if I find myself just wanting to reference Star Trek though ;)
Regarding time, I definitely think clocks are just reference points to help us stay connected to a common structure. Each one of us lives in a reality of our own, with our own perspectives and perceptions that may or may not align to the next person's. As such, time is either a ridiculous joke, or a fluid measure of when we need to be somewhere and what we need to do at certain expected times. I experience "time" speeding up and slowing down all the time, based on how in or out of the moment I may be. As many of us said in class, I often experience enjoyable moments as moving too fast, the day is suddenly over and I don't know how its gotten so late or why I have to go to bed and say goodbye to such a delicious day. On the other hand, those times when I'm unmotivated or waiting for friends to get off work to come hang out seem to tick by so slowly that I begin to think the joyous moments will never come again. On the other hand, there are those times completely outside of time. Traveling usually seems like a vacation from real time. Life exists back in Oakland where clocks exist and this adventure is hiding in a cove off of the river of time. When I am at my best I live in moments where time moves fast and yet I am not aware of it. I love not being aware of time.
When I was younger I was compelled to live by the clock. My school conditioning taught me that you should be somewhere a little early if not exactly on time. Unfortunately most of my friends did not live according to traditional time and I found myself waiting around for hours while a friend got distracted by her guitar on the way to pick me up. I don't believe there is anything natural about monochronic time. As I mentioned, it is a reference point to common structure, but a common structure is a symptom of modern, capitalist society and not a reality for cultures that value a responsibility to live over living to serve responsibilities. Eddie's comment in class about having time for life and joy and sex and yes also work in Brazil reminded me of my best friend's story about traveling in Brazil and how normal it was for people to get caught up in a spontaneous dance party in the streets on the way to where they needed to be. If you got somewhere late it wasn't the end of the world. My American brain couldn't comprehend how you could show up late to work because you were busy dancing, but it could certainly yern for it.
I know plenty of people in Oakland whose lives somehow fit into that polychronic view of time and I envy them. I sometimes think people who somehow afford to work a couple odd jobs and spend most of their time hanging out and playing music live in some sort of alternate reality. They've somehow accessed something closer to the reality the universe meant for us. I often joke that we live in a bizarro world. How can we live in a place with so much violence, homelessness, depression and other states of mental dis-ease, where we are expected to work, work, work, if we want to eat or have shelter, and yet America has the resources to feed and house us all. Its soul-crushing in its malevolence. As some of the traditional American values of sexism, white supremacy, heterosexism, etc are slowly chipped away at by social justice movements and the power of social media, I feel a glimmer of hope, but usually its just a glimmer. Maybe the sicknesses of our culture are an example of entropy. Maybe humankind will work towards the sort of egalitarian utopia, or maybe disorder and drudgery is the big cosmic joke on us. This post wasnt' supposed to get so dark, but well, there it is.
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